I never sleep well the night before a race. Maybe it’s the thought of getting lost in the woods, or being chased by bears, or eaten by alligators. Maybe it’s the thought that we’ll run out of dark chocolate peanut M&Ms…who knows. All I know is that it’s not because of our air mattress. About a year ago, we got two KlymitStatic V Recon air mattresses on a recommendation from our friend, and we couldn’t be happier.
These things are light, inexpensive, extremely comfortable and durable. Pair it with a Klymit Cush Seat and you have a portable sleep system you can take anywhere. Plus, the seat can be used for…well…a seat! As in providing a little padding on the posterior for those 6 hour canoe sections. On long races, we pack the Cush Seat and the Static V in our gear bins, since they pack down to nothing. For the 72-Hour Florida Sea to Sea, they were priceless. After 48+ hours of non-stop racing, you tell me how sweet this setup was #SleepAnywhere
Sometimes the race location is so remote that we end up primitive camping the night before. Add the Static V, a couple of 30A Beach Blonde Ales, and it’s nighty night time until race start the next morning.
We opted for the non-insulated version, because we live in Florida. However, for those unfortunate souls that live in colder areas, you can get an insulated one as well. The best thing is you’re not blowing up your bank account to afford one either. $55 bucks for a bomb-proof air mattress…
If you’re a savvy shopper you may even find it for less. Klymit makes a lot of other radical stuff too, like their award-winning KSB 20 degree down sleeping bag. We don’t have one yet (hint hint), but you don’t need me to review it, it was awarded the 2016 Outside Gear of the Year Award as best sleeping bag. I’m pretty sure they know what they’re talking about.
These guys & gals are innovators and their whole team consists of outdoor enthusiasts, so they know their shiznit. Seriously, it’s good stuff. We only recommend items we use consistently and trust.
One final thought for those on the fence. Sometimes we roll high class and even get a hotel the night before a race. But 3 dudes + 1 bed does not equal fun times. So, before you find yourself in an undesirable predicament…
you might want to think about a Static V air pad & sleeping bag in your gear bin. This is my typical setup and it makes any hotel floor a dream.
You know there is nothing better than crawling out of a warm bed to go slap cold lube on your butt cheeks and stuff them into a pair of spandex cycling shorts. But, when you’re getting ready to race 30 hours at the USARA National Championship, that’s how you get rad. I wonder if this is how Team Adventure Medical Kits and Tecnu roll out of bed…I doubt it.
We staggered into the Savannah Rapids Convention Center where we were given a map the size of a bed sheet, a list of 36 UTM coordinates to plot, and an hour and a half to get our crap figured out before loading buses and heading off to the starting line. Lucky for us we found a little corner of a fish cleaning station to do our map work. We never got our crap figured out, but we were pretty good at faking it.
Prologue
After a short bus ride to Wildwood Park, we were given a final pre-race briefing and then it was game on.
The prologue consisted of grabbing 12 CPs around the International Disc Golf Center. 180+racers converging on the first CP led to some interesting last second route choices by many teams. Stephen was leading the nav on this section and we ended up clearing it quickly and with no issues.
Boat 1
The prologue ended up spreading out…well…no one really. Teams were all over the place, scrambling to launch canoes and get on the water as quickly as possible.
Todd, always in full race mode, decided this was the perfect time for him to capture some epic videos of the race. Or, as I like to call it, bailing out on paddling…
But, who can blame him for capturing a video of this epic 4.5 hour paddling section. Oh, did I say 1 video…oh no, I meant 2 videos. Todd still not paddling…
Or was that three slacker sessions, Uh I mean totally rad video captures. Anyone want to guess whose limp paddle that is?
Actually, Todd, AKA “Limp Paddle” did awesome navigating the canoe section and we cleared this section quickly. And by quickly I mean 50 minutes slower than the fastest 3 teams. If I could only think of a way to make a three man kayak go faster…hmmm…I’ll have to ponder that one.
Bike 1
On to the bikes, and a quick ride over to Mistletoe State Park. We were racing neck and neck with our Florida compadres, Good ‘Nuff and Off the Grid Racing until I decided we should pick up CP14. Totally awesome move, until Shane Hagerman (bad ass adventure racer on team Happy Mutant Main Nerve) reminded us that CP14 could only be gotten on foot and not on bike. Oh yeah, we got them rules and stuff we should pay attention to.
We raced off along Rock Dam Trail to the transition area, and I was lucky enough to impale myself on the only piece of rebar along Gawd Damn Trail, I mean Rock Dam Trail. Red Badge of Courage earned and, more importantly, photographed. I was feeling manly and ready to rock (after a short break, a few snacks, and maybe a hug or two from Stephen that is).
Trek 1
Now on foot, we could get CP14. We could also get CP13 and CP15 according to the rule sheet that we started reading. Now, if we could only read a map. That’s something that could come in handy. We decided to poke around CP13 for awhile. These CPs can be kinda skittish you know, and you don’t want to just go blasting towards them. Instead, you kinda want to circle around them a few times, picking out just the proper way to approach them. We’ve been to USARA Nationals, we know these things.
Bike back to Wildwood
After we cleared the foot section, we had to bike back to Wildwood Park. You would think that biking back the same way that we came in would be easy. You’d think that. Yep, so would we. For the sake of a short race report, let’s just imagine a quick bike ride back to Wildwood without me deciding to try a new path we hadn’t been on before. And let’s just imagine that the new path led exactly where we thought it would, rather than meandering off into the never ending wilderness…yeah, that’s a nice thought, let’s go with it.
The good news is we found our way to Wildwood and we also found one of the greatest inventions ever made by man…
Trek 2
By now it was dark. We were hopped up on Coke and ready to start our second O-course. We were actually doing pretty well on this section until we ran into CP20. We were doing a straight bearing shot from 21 to 20 and you can see how close we were to the control, but we just didn’t see it. So, we headed northeast to the shoreline, dropped down to find the inlet and shot another bearing past 20. We knew the CP had to be somewhere between those intersecting bearing and finally found it within 10 feet from where we originally were. Bummer!
The cool thing though is that we ran into another set of Florida adventure racers, 3 Shades of Gray out of Pensacola, FL. Awesome set of guys who we enjoyed running with for a little while. I’ll say it again, the best part of adventure racing is meeting all of the really cool people out on the course. We hope to see you guys at the FLX Adventures Earth Day AR in Tallahassee next year.
Bike to Final Paddle
You know what helps to keep your bike moving? Pedals! Yep, all the cool kids have them now…they’re kind of a big deal. You know what’s not cool? Riding Bartram’s Trail for 3 hours on this.
But, in Adventure Racing, things can always be worse. Like having your rear hub explode on you and then having to race with your bike on your back. Kudos to Kevin Tobin of Team ASR – Raging Burritos. First rate dude, first rate!
Trek 3 – Clarks Hill Dam
We finally made it to Clarks Hill Dam for the final O-course. This section would prove to be challenging for many teams. While pros like WEDALI would clear this section in 1:50:20, us mere mortals would take 3:43:55. Of course, I’m sure WEDALI didn’t have the pleasure of meeting the convenience store operator who told us that the land owner next door would shoot us if we ended up on his property. Now that’s useful information.
After checking every reentrant in this area twice, we finally cleared the section and moved on to the final paddle section, tired and a little hungry #DennysGrandSlam.
Paddle 2 – Final Paddle
We hit the final paddle section just before day break and if there is anything that will put you to sleep quicker than reading this race report, it’s paddling on a dark, flat river after 21 hours of racing. While most experts may think that canoes are meant for the water, adventure race directors know that canoes are best lugged around on foot…especially uphill. The final Portage section…uh I mean Paddle section to the Savannah Rapids Visitor Center was beautiful. At least they didn’t make us paddle upstream. Todd nailed the nav on this section and I think he even paddled once or twice, between naps of course.
Final Bike:
Only 3 CPs were left in the race, and we were excited that we had cleared the course up to this point. With Florida Xtreme right behind us, and Off the Grid out in front, the race was still on. The race took us along the Augusta Canal Trail with a short detour along the Savannah Mountain Bike Trail and to a final CP at the end of the path.
Right after punching the final CP, we passed Off the Grid going to the final CP. Somehow we had managed to get in front of them. Now, the race was really on. Those guys are strong bikers and I knew we’d have to pedal our tails off not to be passed just before the finish line. So, we formed a pace line and cranked it out as hard as we could. Stephen still had his broken pedal and how he managed to hang on to our rear wheel for the final sprint finish, I don’t know. But he did and Todd and I couldn’t have been prouder.
A final sprint to the finish to claim 4th Place Open Division was an awesome way to end the race.
Conclusion
USARA Nationals is always a great race with amazing competitors. The winning team, Adventure Medical Kits, cleared the course in 17:24:38 hours, compared to our time of…well now there’s really no need to compare finish times is there? Actually, we cleared the course in 26:51:44 Putting us 19th overall. The top racers in the coed and the master’s divisions are absolutely amazing athletes and we’re just thrilled that we get to participate in this race alongside of them.
USARA hosted an awesome after party where we got to kick back with our fellow competitors and the new friends we met while consuming large quantities of beer…I mean exercising Calorie Replacement Therapy. Good times had all around and we can’t wait to be back next year. A heartfelt thank you to those that have supported our meager efforts:
Todd and Stephen, Rock Stars as always. Thanks for not abandoning me out in the woods.
And to those that actually read these verbose postings, thank you! I hope you get some enjoyment out of them…you’re definitely not going to learn anything from them. If you get a chance, please like our Facebook page or comment below. We love to hear from other racers and it helps feed my ego.
Jump? Yeah, you just hold on one stinkin’ second there little lady.
This is no “jump” this is a plummet into an abyss and I’m not sure I’m mentally prepared to plunge my body over the edge just yet.
“Oh my gosh, you didn’t jump?!” Ana says “1…2…3…Jump! Do it!”
“But, I don’t wanna jump!” I whine before hurling myself over the edge. I don’t like heights, I never have. I probably never will. But, adventure racing has a way of taking you outside of your comfort zone and making you do things you wouldn’t normally do for the sake of your team.
Eventually, I splash into the Coosa River below and after checking that my Man Card is still in my back pocket, we press on with the race.
Pre-race:
Way back in 2014, when we just started adventure racing, we did the Coosa River Challenge and had an absolute blast. We weren’t able to make it back in 2015, but were extremely excited that we would make it in ’16. The Coosa River Challenge is more than just a race, it’s an event. It all starts with a pre-race party at Coosa River Adventures the night before. Racers are treated to a delicious meal provided by the Wind Creek Casino & Hotel, an open keg of beer (Score!), and live entertainment by Sam Marsal. But, don’t let the party atmosphere fool you. While some come just for the challenge of completing the race, there are plenty of competitive athletes ready to rock the course in the morning.
Foot 1:
The race starts at the Swayback Bridge Trailhead, a 12-mile network of gnarly single track maintained by the Trail of Legends Association. 230+ competitors started off trail running a short section of switchbacks and hills, making their way to the top of Jordan dam and then returning to the start location to transition to bikes.
Bike 1:
We quickly transitioned to bikes, shoving down a fig bar and a bottle of Skratch before riding off. I didn’t want to bonk again like I did at the Cauldron, so we took a little time to get some fluids and food in us. I don’t like heights, Ana doesn’t like single track. It’s just the way things work for us. But, today was the day Ana decided to fly. Two years ago we struggled to make it up the climbs, but this time she was powering the ups and bombing the downhill sections. Maybe she had the Eye of the Tiger, maybe I spiked her Skratch with cocaine…I’m not saying. But I was impressed.
Foot 2:
Back to the start, we transitioned to foot and made a quick dash to the base of Jordan Dam for an orienteering challenge. For this section we had to answer a few questions on compass use and plot a couple of bearings. In 2014 there wasn’t an orienteering section and I was happy to see that it was back for this year. For us, orienteering is one of the reasons we love adventure racing.
Boat:
The rest of the race was down the Coosa River with stops along the way to do certain challenges. The first challenge was to swim our kayak across the river. If there is a good way to swim a kayak across a river, please post it in the comment section below. Call me kooky, but I’m pretty sure man didn’t create a kayak so that he could hang on to the outside of it and swim it across a river. I have never felt so inept in my life! I tried the front crawl. I tried the side stroke, I tried holding on to the back and just kicking. The only thing that worked for me was letting Ana swim it across. That made it a lot easier.
Once Ana, I mean we, swam the kayak across the river we had to execute the leap of death. From atop a 40 foot rock, we had to jump into the Coosa River below. Okay, maybe it wasn’t 40 feet, but it was high. Higher than it was 2 years ago, and higher than in my nightmares of the week leading up to the race. Needless to say, we did make the jump and I’m alive and I’m pretty thankful for that.
After the rock jump, we got to paddle our boats back to the launch location where we would do the 85 foot rappel. This was my favorite part, mainly because I didn’t have to do it. Look, it’s my job to kill all the spiders and roaches. Ana’s job is to do the high, scary stuff and not tell my buddies that I’m too chicken to do it. Ana flew down the rope like a Cirque du Soleil acrobat. It was beautiful to watch, especially with both feet on solid earth.
Back on the boats, we were now in full paddle mode, except that the paddles were more like dumbbells with blades on the end. Seriously, I think they were made out of driveshafts they weighed so much. We cruised down to Dead Beaver Island, a perfect place to camp out, drink a few cases of beer, and make 200+ people crawl through a pipe that’s been 90% submerged in muddy water. Lucky for us, they left just enough room at the top of the pipe to breathe…that is if you’re a freakin’ dolphin with a hole in the top of your head. For us normal humans, not so easy.
After Dead Beaver Island, we made the run down to Moccasin Gap, a Class III rapid and the largest rapid on the Coosa. We didn’t have any issues with this one and were starting to feel pretty proud of ourselves. That is until we hit Big House Rapids.
Let’s go left around this rock…
No, no let’s go right!
Ah $hit! Let’s see if we can go over it!
So, there we sat pinned atop some rock in the middle of the river as our good friend Kaitlin comes cruising past. Why is it that people always arrive just when you’re screwing up?
You need help?
Nah, we got this. Just wanted to stop for a bite to eat.
We worked ourselves free and headed off to Corn Creek Park for a short orienteering course where we quickly grabbed 3 checkpoints and then headed back onto the water. We had another 1.5 miles of paddling before the final takeout at Coosa River Adventures. And, after three and a half hours of solid racing what I really, really wanted to do was a few air squats and burpees. How about a punch in the gut? Can I get one of those too, please?
Ana could now smell the end of the race…or was that me. Whatever. She knew it was close by and after scraping her amazingly handsome husband off the ground, she was ready for the final sprint to the finish.
“Come on! This is it! This is it!”, she yelled.
We burst out of the recently cut trail near Coosa River Adventures and saw our old teammate, Stu, waiting to run the final leg of the race with us. What a fantastic surprise! A mad dash through Gold Star Park and we finished, 1st place Co-ed.
We celebrated with peanut butter & jelly sandwiches and the most awesome cookies ever. Seriously, who made those cookies?! They were delicious and in a convenient Ziploc bag of 20. We were supposed to take a bag each, right?
Conclusion
Once again the Coosa River Challenge was awesome. The race director, Therese Carter, always does an amazing job of putting together a top-notch event. I don’t know how she does it every year, or where she finds her amazing volunteers. Maybe she pays them in cookies. Regardless, I’m not asking questions, I just know we’ll be back as often as we can! Thanks everyone it really was amazingly fun.
Oh, and one last comment. Post-race, some buddies and I hit one of the race sponsors, Los Mayas Mexican Restaurant. The food was excellent and we ended up ordering so much of it that they had to move us to another table because ours was too small to hold all the plates. Stinky, sweaty, middle-aged men in spandex pants sucking down burritos. Now that’s a mental image nobody wants.
The cool thing though is that we ran into another set of Florida adventure racers, 3 Shades of Gray out of Pensacola, FL. Awesome set of guys who we enjoyed running with for a little while. I’ll say it again, the best part of adventure racing is meeting all of the really cool people out on the course. We hope to see you guys at the 
teamdisoriented.com 